Vom

I feel like I have morning sickness all over again. Next Monday Greg is starting to teach summer school and it will be Ben's first day in daycare. I am so sick about this that I can barely eat (notice I said barely). Really, I am not worried for his safety or happiness. I found a wonderful lady who will keep Ben at her house. Aside from being very nice and cute, she is super clean and organized and scheduled. You know I sparkleheart schedules. She also speaks Spanish mostly to the kids, which I really think that is good for his brain to learn the two languages at once.

But I am going to miss him so much!!! Right now I go home at lunch every day to feed him and cuddle him. I know.... I can drop in on my lunch break and check on him, and I will, I'm sure. But it is not really practical for everyday. Plus they are watching a buncha kids so I don't really want to be a pest and get in the way.

Aside from missing him, I think I am majorly disgruntled about not being his primary caretaker. The control freak in me wants to be in charge of when he eats, naps, plays alldayeveryday. I know it is not sane, but I feel like I am letting someone else raise my kid.

Greg and I crunched the numbers to see if it was even possible for me to quit my job. We determined that if we subsisted entirely on his salary, paid all our bills, and cut out all luxury expenditures (gym, spending money, etc.) we would be able to put a whopping $11 into savings every month (sorry Ben, college is not an option... neither is Disney World). Then we realized that we didn't account for my health insurance and Ben's. It is just not financially prudent right now. Plus my career track is not one of those that I can really leave for awhile and return to easily. Change happens so fast in tech comm, that I would lose alot of ground and have to start allover again. As a last ditch effort, I might decide to stay home and make my millions by selling Scentsy candles.... jk!

So for now, I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. Who knows, I may even enjoy the extra freedom this gives me. Work out on my lunchbreak! What?! And maybe I'll get the skinnies from my lack of appetite from worrying...